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Friday, November 19th, 2004
3:36 pm - I am SO READY to get married!! And more short-term...to leave work today!
Work cramps the brain...i mean...here you are trying to get your brain to cooperate and think about stuff, and something new pops up that derails the train of thought. *sighs* At least it provides the means to keep the brain nourished and active right? lol....

I am SO READY to get married!! And more short-term...to leave work today! lol... And of course have Thanksgiving. WWEEEE! In a week i will be having a wedding shower thrown by my dear Aunt Mandy! =) I can't wait to drive down to San Antonio in my dad's new F350, standard, diesel, huge-everything truck. I'm the alternate driver so it will be a fun drive down. I can't wait to see Grandma and all the family and have fun and relax. Shelby Fuzz is going to entertain us all with jokes as usual! ("Meet...the BRIDE"-don't ask)

So...in like 2 hours i'm going to present a little speech on some artwork of mine that won a prize in the college's student anthology. It's a picture of my sister that i drew and love so i was happy to be able to tell her that not only did my picture of her win, but its also the only portrait i've ever drawn of a real-life human! So its pretty cool.

Well, i've got to get printing off some resumes and cover letters so much as i love you, i'd better jet....


current mood: artistic

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Friday, November 12th, 2004
12:02 pm - One down...six to go....
Weeks that is, until the week when all this work and stress will pay off!! lol....yeah, i know i'm griping, and Mom, Claudia and Erin...y'all are angels for putting up with me! There is so much stuff to DO...but i will gain nothing from continuing to run my mouth.

SO...this week i began to train my replacement...she's very nice. I am sad at leaving my job, but boy i cannot wait to find a new one. I'm just ready for the change. As much as i dislike change, i'm ready! lol

This week John and i both had dental work done....he had his other wisdom tooth taken out (did i mention that already? oh well, too bad) and i had two cavities filled...so we're set on that level.

School's got only 4 more weeks til we get out...and i'm sick of this semester but i'm not ready to be done with college. =( I will miss the atmosphere and being able to go to class and learn. Plus all the quirky professors i've had...that i will miss. But change is good, and i will hopefully have quirky co-workers to more than fill the gap left by profs!

I'm sorry i'm not more interesting today...i'm just freezing (literally, the tutoring lab is 62 degrees today and its 38 outside!!) and that makes my body shut down somewhat and makes me cranky!! lol...so poor John gets to deal with that...and he WANTS us to move to DC for his doctorate?? lol

AWWWWWW...i almost forgot to put this story that made my week....
Well, my dad and i have many problems, i think i've already established that right? My brother knows exactly how i feel about everything dad-related and we've been probably the closest of all the siblings... Well, this week when i went over to spend an evening with the family, Mom started telling me an illustration about my brother's priorities... [the younger siblings (brother and 2 sisters) were at church and me, mom, and dad had gone to their house.] Mom started her story to me with, "Yeah, we can tell where Rhea Allen's priorities are...your dad told him to look for a job to help pay his insurance costs. He messed around, applying to a couple of places but never following up or anything. THEN, last week i told him i didn't think my money from working would be enough to cover everything and he nodded then came back later and said, "Mom, i'm gonna go apply to a few more places and see if i can't get hired. Then Holly and John can have my money." And with that Mom laughed but my heart melted. I was like "are you serious?? i thought you meant Ceara (his g/f) told him to get a job and that his priorities were set like that! AWWWWW...my bubba loves me!" I told John and he thought it was awesome too! My bubba is such a good person!

So yeah, on that note i will end this entry....

current mood: grateful

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Friday, October 29th, 2004
9:58 pm - Excellent start to tha weekend.....
Hello all! I apologize for the amount of time that has transpired since i wrote last.

So this has been a somewhatly normal week...i've gotten back in touch with two of my bestfriends in the world. The Lord truly blesses those who can forgive and move on! My heart is warm and fuzzy because of all the people who love me! Okay, enough of the mushy stuff.....lol

So...tonight i went to a women's fellowship/chew the fat evening at my parent's pastor's family's house. (did i get enough apostrophes?) We soaked our feet and did feet masques, scrubs, and lotions. And, of course, chewed the fat as they all dished out about their week! It made me kinda sad though, i'm a not-single but not-married so the married women don't talk about 'stuff' around me, and the single women assume i'm not interested in their conversation. That was all just a low-boiling current in an otherwise perfectly pleasant evening so perhaps i'm just having a pity party. Their new music minister's young wife was there and i think we can start to do things together...that would make me happy. I've been praying that the Lord give me some solid, genuine Christian women to help me in my walk.

Wedding plans make my head swim, and there is enough space up there for a lot to swim uninhibited so i'm screwed if i attempt anything resembling an intelligent conversation. I CANNOT WAIT until the day that all this planning and fixing, organizing and waiting are over! I cannot wait for the wedding day and all the family who are coming up to witness the ceremony of our union in front of God.

OUR BEDROOM FURNITURE WAS DELIVERED TODAY!! Mum Mum (John's gramma) was kind enough to sit at my house for 2 hours cuz neither John nor I could be there. John's seen it, Mum Mum's seen it, my brother's girlfriend's seen it, and i haven't. I haven't been home to my house in 13 hours. =( As soon as i'm done surfing the net at John's house though i'm going home to check it out and then take my sisters and brother's g/f to a church lock-in. I love so much being able to be a role-model. Some friends have hit me with some pretty stout personal news of their own this week and its so sad to think that Satan adds to his lists of apathetic Christians everyday. I'm sure someone will be upset with me for writing this, but before you get on to me, i am absolutely admitting i'm on the list. I just pray that the Lord will humble His Children enough that we can receive correction when we need it and clean up our acts!

MK, I'm really tired and ready to see the bedroom that John and i are going to share for as long as God keeps us in my/our apartment.

Peace out to all of you and the Lord bless your steps...

current mood: tired

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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
2:33 pm - Blah
Man, this is Thursday, not Friday!! Oh well, the extra waiting will only serve to make Friday night/the weekend that much more enjoyable. ;)

I'm craving any and everything sugar and just food in general. A combo of cutting down on the amounts of refined sugars i consume and the fact that my feminine cycle is gearing up. Why do things that are bad for you taste so good?? I mean, sugar's gotta be good cuz it tastes good right?? *sadness* nope. Hrm...an interesting parallel to the ways of the world. If something is of the world, even if it feels or 'tastes' wonderful at first, it will always come back to mess up your life or 'make you sick'. So don't risk it!! And food...if you see me coming...don't risk it either!

Walmart needs to get the fabric in for my bridesmaids dresses...and people wonder why i call it the place of sin! *shakes head* Wal-mart is too big for its britches...and has been for a long time. But before my soap box comes out i will shut up.

So i think that's it for the enlightening post for today. Perhaps something chocolate and fried will walk in my office door...

current mood: hungry

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Friday, October 1st, 2004
10:50 am - Life is building........
Well, it was too good to be true to expect everything to be manageable! Our invitations got messed up so we're trying to fix that....i know it will all work out but it is very upsetting! lol 81 days....i don't know what i'm going to do when i don't have a wedding to plan and anticipate. i guess i'll just get into short-term anticipation mode and be able to look forward to seeing John every night! ;D

Thing's have been really good these past few days...i've just been in a good mood and close to God and just happy. OOhhh..and i'm so excited: we paid off our rings last night!! so they're ordered...time moves so quickly and yet so slowly.

John cut his hair...it looks so hott. He'd been shaggy like wow for forever but i knew he loved it so i promised not to comment...but he cut it yesterday cuz he was tired of the shagginess and cuz he knew i'd love it and i do. =) its still long, but its got shape and structure and i can see his eyes and ears now!! which is very good i think =) I tried to tell my sister he'd gotten a mohawk but she wouldn't believe me. Dunno why, isn't John the mohawk lover?? oh well.... i hope to get my hair done this weekend too....but we shall see.

Well, i've got homework to do. Speech class is fun but not when your group isn't all there...Shout outs to Stacey dear and Diamond!

current mood: good

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Monday, September 27th, 2004
2:19 pm - Good weekend!
Woo hoo, that was a crazy weekend.

Did all kinds of fundraisers with my Venture Scout group...we cooked at a rehearsal dinner and then sold cookies and our dessert cookbook at the Jazz fest downtown Shawnee. It was fun, tiring but fun. Got to hang out with my Scouts, something i haven't been able to do in a long time! John had to work but he came before and after.

Saturday night was Battle of the Bands (right after/during the Jazz Fest) and some really awesome friends of mine were one of the bands (Philadelphia i love you!!). Barbara is the mom and manager/sound person, then David (dad) and Seth (son) and Josh (son) are in the band. They are so special to me, they don't know it but they helped me through a really difficult time and caused me to understand myself and God better. i love Barbara and her 'boys' to death! The whole family have such beautiful relationships with each other and the Lord...it always makes me peaceful when i see what the Lord does in their lives. Guys...if you read this...Y'ALL NEED TO MOVE BACK TO OKC/SHAWNEE!! =) on God's timetable of course ;) As far as i know they don't have a website but if anyone gets a chance to go to a local show where they play i would definately recommend you go and check them out!

Sunday was such a good day, our pastor was out of town (not good) but the old interim came and delivered a soul-stirring sermon for the men of God. I, a female, was even challenged! I love the church we're at so much. It's worth every second of the drive! Well, the fellowship, people, and atmosphere are worth it! the church building merely houses us. ;) After church John and i went to the last day of the fair and bought some stuff on clearance! He bought a cool new knife...its really neat. I bought some scent crystals to match the soon-to-be our bedroom. We had fun chillin with the Holmies and having fun.

Welp...peace out

current mood: refreshed

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Monday, September 20th, 2004
10:32 am - Live and learn
Sorry its been so long journal dear, i've been busy at work and tutoring which are the only times i usually have the chance to write in you!!

Sunday was my first service to sing in the praise team!! i was quite nervous and John said i looked pretty nervous but i will be better next time! =) I really enjoyed the chance to minister in that capacity.

TODAY IS THREE MONTHS TIL JOHN AND I ARE MARRIED!!! =D I am so ready, i hate for him to have to go home to his house every evening or me to mine. I am ready to fight about leaving the seat up (or down!) about leaving cabinets open, about leaving clothes everywhere, about toothpaste, hair in the shower, and whatever else you're supposed to fight about when you're married! I'm ready to keep deepening our relationship and eventually to build our family!! =D

We've talked to our decorator lady about what decorations we want etc. It will look so great!! We're going to get our invitations sometime this week so everyone can have paper to look at date/time and not worry! We also put down payments on our wedding rings and bedroom furniture. So it is all coming together. Getting married is fun and grand (especially if you've got a mom like mine!!) but it is also a lot of stress and SPENDING MONEY. lol...and we're even doing the low-budget operation when we can. Its all good though, and like i already established-i can't wait!

Well i love you John!! when you get around to reading this...and to all others peace and have a blessed day!

current mood: impatient!!

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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
8:01 pm - Almost tha weekend!
This morning during my quiet time i was really challenged by a scripture...
Ephesians 4:31
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, fighting and contention, obscenities, backstabbing, and slander be put away from you, along with all malicious actions. Be kind to one another, lifting each other up in Christ, tender-hearted and forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (NASB & my paraphrase!)

Not to go into a lot of detail, but this challenged me about my relationship with my dad. I have every right in the world to keep bitterness and anger towards him for what he's done and continues to do to me and John. Yet by clinging to that right and allowing those feelings in my heart makes God not able to work in the situation.

Christ suffered on the cross, enduring more pain and emotional suffering than i could ever imagine so that i can be free from the chains of anger...and all sin. You who read this please pray that i will give up control of my anger and bitterness that Christ will break the chains around my heart. Thank you!

current mood: hopeful

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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
10:53 am
My car's alternator began to make awful sounds last night! So it is happily being fixed while my checkbook dreads the news. lol

My hours may get cut here in the next few weeks but I'm praying that I can get hold of a friend of mine who needed me to do bookwork for her a while back. I finally have a computer now so I can do it from my house instead of having to drive the 35 miles.

Why was money invented?? Why can't people just all share what they have? hrm...guess someone already tried that and it was called Communism! I can't wait to go Home to be with the Lord and let Him pay all the bills for my heavenly mansion. lol I'm not quite sure if that's how it works or not but I expect I'll be fine either way.

Well, I'm at tutoring right now and I've just had 2 students come in needing me to help them write essays so I'm gonna jet for now.

peace out!

current mood: hopeful

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Thursday, September 9th, 2004
8:58 pm - FRIDAY!!
Praise the Lord it is Friday! This hasn't been a bad week, but i'm glad that its almost the weekend! CUZ I AM STARTING THE BIBLE STUDY FOR LAUREN AND CEARA!! i'm so excited!! I've also got a lot of wedding stuff to take care of this weekend. So it will be fun.

Right now i'm in tutoring...not that exciting of a day. That's okay though! In my world when things get 'exciting' its usually cuz someone breaks an arm or requires stitches or something. I dont' live with my family anymore now but i still get involved with anything that happens like that!

Speaking of them, they came over last night (except Dad) and i got to see them all. I miss them and dont' like being so crazy and not being able to see them more. =/ I'm working on it though!! It's better than when i was first gone...

well, i'm going to listen to some music and do some homework....peace

current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
9:19 pm - my Knight in black cotton...
This morning my Johnnie came over with breakfast to surprise me! I can't wait til we're married so I can wake up to him every morning. He is such an amazing person, I love him so much for the man of God he is now and is becoming...I pray that I can keep learning to get over myself and do more things that are good for US, not just ME.

It's so neat to step back and see the parallels to Christ and the church within a relationship. I owe God for every good and beautiful thing in my life and nothing but myself to blame for all the bad/failures.

John, if you're reading this I love you with all my heart, and you're the most beautiful thing that's happened to me..=) Life is more interesting and satisfying with you beside me...thank you for being the Man you are! =*

current mood: peaceful

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10:47 am
*Yawns* I stayed up til like 1:30 last night baking cookies for a friend of mine and John who just had surgery. I made enough that i can use them when my next-younger sister Lauren and my brother's g/f Ceara spend the weekend with me. I'm starting a Bible Study for them based on the book 'And The Bride Wore White' that chronicles the author's journey and advice for learning to live a lifestyle of purity. I'm really excited about teaching/learning with them. I bought them each a cute little journal to record their thoughts and struggles and notes to their future husbands. I wish someone had done this when i was younger. I pray that i can be a positive influence and share with them honestly. Hopefully, I'll be able to do this for our church girls someday! Well, I'd better get back to work!

current mood: grateful

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
5:19 pm - A new beginning
Today's been insane. I missed the trash truck and have been a little sore from a hike with my future family (in-laws) in Colorado over Labor Day weekend. Let me just say, if you think its difficult to exercise in Oklahoma, with 800 ft of elevation; just try hiking mountains at 6,500!! Does the phrase GOT OXYGEN? come to mind? lol Peace.....

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